I’m feeling a bit sick right now with dry cough. This week I’m having class in TB hospital and that place is not quarantine. With my severely depressed immune system now and I can’t receive vaccination for the moment, I feel very worried that I might get infected with TB from the patients there. In every subject that we study, we all will be asigned to at least 1 patient and check out for the signs and symptoms which we were taught.

And the cause of Tuberculosis (TB)? Mycobacterium tuberculosis, it’s air borne.
Anyone can be infected easily without noticing it because at early stages, there may be no signs and symptoms at all or start with dry cough. Most of our patients answered that they not sure from who and how they got it from. They went for their yearly medical check up and found that they were infected from their chest X-ray.

I started to feel a bit worried after I came back from the hospital yesterday because I started to cough and I’m feeling a bit unwell like dizziness, fatigue. I prayed to God hope that when I go back Malaysia in another 3 months time, I will see clear lung picture on my X-ray film. Treatment for TB is a bit difficult and it takes about 2 months for the full course of treatment. Previously I had spent 3 months in SJMC for cancer treatment, I hope this summer holiday I won’t be spending time being hospitalised again.

But what if I will become very ill later? I hope not. Russian hospital is worse than hell. I don’t want to stay there for 2 months. If I want to go home, I wonder if they would allow me…. but I will infect all the passenger in the plane with TB later. I need a lot of prayers and a lot of protection now. I don’t want to get TB.

*ngggeeeekkkk zziiiiiiii vvveeeeeeek ssshhheeeeee
*knock knock on teeth
Dentist: How is your gum doing after the radiotherapy? Do you feel your mouth very dry?
Me: I think it’s fine. No bleeding when I brush my teeth and I brush my teeth 5 times a day with biotene toothpaste, and I continue using Gengigel. And I drink water very frequent.
Dentist: Good. But there’s signs of tooth decay here and here and there. I’ll give you a bottle of antiseptic mouthwash and don’t take SWEET things.
Me: T-T….. no more sweeeeett stuff (no cakes, no deserts, no ice-cream!!!~)

Uuuuuwwwaaaa~ but I love cakes wor and Baskin Robins…. and Ferrero Roche….
Haih~ (-_-)”

What is tooth decay?Tooth decay is the process that results in a cavity (dental caries). It occurs when bacteria in your mouth make acids that eat away at a tooth. If not treated, tooth decay can cause pain, infection, and tooth loss.

The Cause of Tooth decay
The combination of bacteria and food causes tooth decay. A clear, sticky substance called plaque that contains bacteria is always forming on your teeth and gums. As the bacteria feed on the sugars in the food you eat, they make acids. The acids attack the teeth for 20 minutes or more after eating. Over a period of time, these acids destroy tooth enamel, resulting in tooth decay.

You make tooth decay more likely if:
- You don’t brush your teeth twice a day, in the morning and before bedtime.
- You don’t floss your teeth each day.
- You eat foods with a lot of sugar in them. The longer a sugary food stays on your teeth, the more the bacteria feed and make acids. Sticky sweets and sugary foods, such as raisins, sugar-coated cereal, cake, cookies, caramel, and taffy, cause the most damage. (there goes my cakes!!!)
- Lack of fluoride in the public water supply also makes tooth decay more likely.

You can pass the bacteria that cause tooth decay to your baby. This can happen when you share spoons, forks, and other utensils with babies. The saliva you leave on the utensil contains the bacteria. Sometimes kissing can also transfer saliva and bacteria. You can help prevent tooth decay in your child by making sure that your family practices good dental health habits.
(=_= so I shouldn’t kiss anyone as well….. *misery)

*Article taken from WebMD.com

I feel very suffering right now. The pain and everything worsen. My tongue, not only just the side, now the whole tongue feels painful. I think probably no one will experience this before, I found blisters at the tip of my tongue! It’s so difficult to move my tongue because it is very very painful. It will gonna take few days for the blister to go away.

This is my tongue. See, it looks very screwed up.

For the first time, tears are rolling down my cheek uncontrollably even though I’m not crying. The pain is unbearable. There are some blood and greenish phelgm in my saliva, I think my throat is very inflamed. The only thing I can do now is rinse my mouth with Biotene mouthwash every 30mins to ease my discomfort and pain… and waiting for time to pass away quickly. I can’t wait to get better soon.

In addition to phobia to eating, I now have phobia to sleeping. I feel very very tired but I feel very scared to fall asleep. Because everytime when I wake up, the condition of my throat will get worse and pain will increase. At least when I’m awake, i constantly drink water and moisten my throat. During sleep, I’m unable to do that and my throat will become very dry and painful. I’m seriously not sure what to do now. I feel hungry but I was unable to eat. For the past few days, I still can eat cooked oat meal. Now besides milk, I don’t know what else can I take.

I seriously hate the feeling right now. When I recover, I will make sure that I will never be this sick anymore. It is really unbearable. I wish everyone will treasure their health properly. Don’t get cancer. The process of overcoming it is really really terrible.

If I could become oncologist one day, I wish I could help other patient to ease their pain because I understand how unbearable it is.

Dear readers, thank you so much for dropping by. I finished my treatment finally!~ But however the pain and other side effects will continue for about a week. I’ll try to blog when I’m feeling well. I feel very weak today. My throat hurts and it’s very painful that I couldn’t swallow anything. Probably because I didn’t eat much today that’s why I’m feeling so weak and so tired.

This period will be my weakest time, infections will occur during this time if I’m not careful. My tongue now got infected by candida albicans as well that’s why it feel so painful and I couldn’t talk properly. Few more days, the pain will go away and I will soon get back to the active me. I’m looking forward to see my friends again. I will compensate all the missed outings k?

I sent my sweetheart Huimin off in KLIA this morning. She told me a lot of people reading my blog out there, silently supporting me. Thank you so much! ^^

=D Finally get to watch “Secret”. *K came back from Hong Kong last friday and brought me out for the movie. Yea, the sick and weak me accumulated all my energy and strength from my 16 hours sleep just to stay awake to watch that movie. A bit disappointed couldn’t get the twin seat though.

This movie has meaningful storyline. I like it very much. Jay unleashes his real talent for acting here. I guess, it’s different when you’re the boss eh. You can act freely like how you want. Those hongkies director really lousy la for making Jay look like kayu in previous movies.

Initially was watching “Secret” then later end up watching me. *K said I’m so similar to 小雨. Because we both are so weird “mysterious” that’s why we do not have many friends. Haha but isn’t it he’s weirder for falling in love with this weird girl with a weird cancer?

Yesterday, he told me he feel scared seeing me like this. Those cancer therapies are robbing so much from me. From a noisy, active, chan kai cute, bubbly girl, I become like a walking zombie now. So tired, so pale looking, and rarely speak at all. I can only tahan for maximum 3 hours going out, then automatically my body show signals that I need to rest.

Waaaahh… too much about da bf liao. I didn’t see him for a week ler, of course I’m just being very sexcited… ahem excited. Lol sorry for all the crap here. Cos ran out of idea about what to write since I’ve been sleeping and sleeping only these few days.

So the good news is I lost weight lor. Then the flabby tummy fat disappear liao. Akaka, it’s so difficult to lose that part ler. The bad news is I think I’m getting fungal infection in my mouth again because white spots start appearing on my mucosa and then my upper lips got blisters… Ouch!~ Damn tu lan when got blister la cos it’s damn painful!!! Have to be careful everytime i drink water because it hurts when the cup “langgar” my upper lips.

Ehehe and I’m still learning how to mess with Wordpress. So tahan for a while la, I’m learning!!!~ And will have more updates soon, probably tonight if electricity dun go off tonight. *Pray hard, cross fingers. =D