Last time during our parents’ era, guys have to spend months to years to court a girl. When he finally gets to know her personally… the most is she lets him hold her hand. I know my dad spent years to court my mum. Well, that’s the good old days. Nowadays youngster all love at first sight, sex at first date. Look, Yung even attended a marriage where the bride is 15 yrs old and pregnant and the bridegroom is 17 yrs old. What happen to the world these days?

What do true love means to you? LUST? SEX? DESIRE?
Most of the guys nowadays look at girls superficially. First, they look at their face. Next, look at their body. Then, see which stupid girl is stupid enough to sleep with them. (*To all the good guys I know, I don’t mean to include u guys in here, I know you know that you are good! =P Cheers~)

Girls, where’s your dignity? Those young girls nowadays only know how to brag how good they are, how great is their sacrifice for love. But see, after u sacrifice your vagina, then you get pregnant, then he dumps you. Is this still can be call great love? great sacrifice for love? Well…. to most rational adults, you are just STUPID! Ending up the person who gets hurt the most is YOU! That guy won’t lose anything, he can just continue f*cking other girls. If you are lucky enough, probably his parents will force him to marry you… then what?… no financial stability, how are you gonna feed your kids, pay for school fees and stuff like that? In the end, your child would wish that he/she was never born to this world to suffer.

I know there are a lot of people out there believe in true love like me. Love means something beautiful to us. Sex is only for that one and only person that will love you forever… till death do us apart. I’m a virgin and proud to be a virgin. Guys that only goes after sex… well f*ck off! I got dumped by my ex-bf because I refused to have sex with him. He ran away with a 17 yrs old girl who had an abortion before. With such medical history, you know that she definitely had offer him sex rite?… and plus she’s not those goody-good-shoes kind of girl.

Guys, when their little brother take over their mind and body, they will lose their rationality. Sex probably can satisfy them for few minutes. But true love is for eternity. Cheers~ to all people who value true love! And true love waits. People who don’t believe in long distance relationship is because this kind of guys are just desperate and wanna look for a companion to make them happy but no love exist. When you truly love someone, no matter how, no matter where, as long as you have each other in your heart… love will overcome everything right?

I feel peace right now. I had not been in such a peaceful mood for a long time.There are some things which are meant to be throw away. No matter how much you treasure this thing, how much you loved it before, once it turned bad, you must not keep it. Just like a rotten apple, if you choose to keep, it will give foul odour and ruin the environment. So I’ve decided to let go of it and get a new apple.

Life is very simple. Happiness is not difficult to achieve. Stop walking for a while. Turn around, take a look at the people around you. Every minute, I have someone who trying to make me smile. These are the people who share my laughter and my sorrows. Those time when I’m facing difficulties, just a simple “hello” from an old friend means a lot to me. I am truly blessed.

When they dropped by to visit me in the hospital;
Desmond said, “Everyone have an ugly side of them. Friends won’t mind how ugly you look like.”
Wei Fuen said, “We’ve seen every side of you since high school. Doesn’t matter how you look like now. We are friends wud!”
I’m truly blessed. True friends will never forget about you. True friends will never leave you.

I went out with Kennie and Yvonne. Though it was only a short while, but i feel really happy spending time with them. 幸福~…我感觉非常幸福. Oh and Kennie can pose la! Yvonne made Kennie the official model for the new Heart4Hope cap. Ta-daa~

Padini style.

Act 1: Kool guy

Act 2: Macho-man

Act 3: Silent killer

With the lady boss behind the photoshots.

We had fun today. For your info, Kennie is still the good old Kennie… errhmmm maybe except his messy hair. I wonder what changes did others see in him.

I’ve been sleeping too much at home lately. Do all surgical patients also experience this? This is my 1st time being cut open lolz, so i’m not sure how I suppose to feel after that. I have been thinking a lot lately. Opened the knots in my heart. Each and everytime something happen, it will change me a bit. But there are some things that will remain always the same.

I love my friends and I will live to protect them. (This one curi from Jon’s friendster =D)

I shed tears for my friends, and little do I know that they too.

The sweet memories, we shared.



Through various experiences, a person grows. Through pain, a person becomes stronger. Through hardships, a person becomes tougher. Through broken heart & friendships, we find true love and true friends. Love, Yuin Yin.

All this while, i play the role of a doctor. I do every procedures, i make the diagnosis, I put the treatment for my patients. I never imagine how hard it is to be the patient myself. Although it’s only CT scan, not any invasive instrumental investigation, i feel scared. I’m afraid of the result. I’m afraid if the outcome is bad.

Result from my CT scan yesterday;
Right parotid tumor measuring 25 x 19mm with adjacent lymphadenopathy. Adjacent lymph nodes are enlarged up to 15 mm. Tiny subcentimeter hypodense left thyroid nodule is seen.

Superficial parotidectomy is indicated. Understandable, there are changes in lymph nodes, possible the tumor turning into a malignant one if it is not removed quickly. When Dr. Chandran asked me is it ok to have the operation scheduled on wednesday morning, i told him yes directly without much consideration. Because that time the only thing that came into my mind was I want to go through this nightmare ASAP. I’ve been there; saw that, I know how horrible that whole surgical process is. But now, I couldn’t help myself from thinking the extra extra stuff that ordinary patient will not worry about. The post operative complication. 7 important nerves passed through the parotid gland. If the surgeon cut any of these, I’ll lose innervations somewhere in the face. I am a medical student after all. Doctor can’t hide secrets from me.

Complications:
- cosmetic deffects: creates a hollow anterior and inferior to the ear, long scar
- facial nerve injury: Studies have found that transient paralysis of all or part of the facial nerve occurs in 17% to 100% of patients undergoing parotidectomy, depending on the extent of the resection and the location of the tumor. If worst, facial palsy.
- Frey syndrome results from damage to the parasympathetic fibres
- salivary fistula
- Loss of sensation to the earlobe due to damage to the great auricular nerve

I’m very worried now because i know i will not be beautiful anymore. But i should learn to trust Dr. Chandran. Even for me, I always wanted to help my patient, wanted to give in my very best to help them recover. If i don’t learn to trust like a patient, then in future, no one will dare to put their trust in me. Perhaps this is a trial for me. Just being that person standing aside watching, forever will never know what is the patient thinking. It’s so hard to be a patient. I can imagine what yvonne going through each and everytime a new tumor is found. But she is so brave, I wish i can be as brave as her. Compared to NF, this tumor of mine is nothing unless it is turning malignant.

I am very selfish, i know. Till last minute, i still care about my look. In case things will never be the same again for me, i wish to be remembered as the beautiful me.

I will be admitted to SJMC this evening. My operation is at 9.30am tomolo. For more information, Desmond will inform you guys. I’ll sms you guys my room number later. For tonite, han nern will spend overnight there with me. [Ok, han nern fong fei kei]. On thursday, i hope Liyi remembers she’s camping there with me. >_< i’m afraid of hantu la~ DO bring the cross, the garlics, and so when visit me k? =P

5 years ago, there’s a very sick girl, me went to various doctors to seek for advice.
But they all give me doubts. Some doctors… i wonder, did they completed their 6 years studies in medic school? They can’t even give me a primary diagnosis or some differential diagnosis. Some doctors, they start flipping their textbooks and compare those pictures in textbok with my condition and tell me that possible i have this viral infection or that infection etc. They kinda reminds me of our friends here in Kursk who cheats for every single exam. In the end, they brain is totally empty. So normal GP are useless, i decided to go to specialist. Sunway Medical centre being so high class and having such a good reputation came into my consideration. They sent me to ENT department. It was so long ago that i don’t remember the doctors name anymore. 1 ENT doctor refer me to another ENT doctor. Probably they don’t know how to classify 16 yr old me into the paeds category or adult medicine. I asked my paeds teacher, she said from birth till 18 years old, we are under the care of pediatricians. So guys, next time make sure u bring ur kids to the right department!

And that ENT doctor without any subjective & objective examination, without lab analysis, CT scan, X-ray, MRI, etc….. he put his diagnosis directly and the treatment —-> Surgery is a must. When are u free, i’ll arrange the OT, it will cost u some RM10k+. Hearing such conclusion that is without explaination… u think a NORMAL human being will let him simply cut u up and earn 10k+?
Such doctor is not a good doctor. They put money over their patient’s life as their first priority. Though money is undeniable very important, but have they forgotten the essence of being a doctor? A doctor’s job is to cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always.

Oh no, and then this stupid girl choose to study medic, she goes all the way to Russia to learn about medicine, to learn about medical procedures and find out possible diagnosis about her own sicknesss. It took her 5 years, to be equipped with sufficient knowledge, to be prepared to seek for consultation again. One senior recommended me to go SJMC bcos most of the doctors there are very good,… no, they are excellent doctors.
I’m glad that at least the ENT doctor in SJMC do their job properly.

1. Ask complains from patient
2. Obtain history of disease
3. Objective examination: palpation of lymh nodes, check ears, nose and mouth like what we learnt in Russia. You know, the sticking mini mirror into ur oral cavity to check your choanas, vocal cord, tonsils etc, then the nose speculum to check the nose.

[P/s: Gerald, i have really bad impression on doctors from Sunway Medical la... I dun trust them even though they graduated from Aussie, NZ. Hell, russian medical students also good wat! Why do medical staff in GH like to pick on us?]