YuinYin.com

I wonder….

Did a person become famous because of they are mean and bitchy?

or

Did a person become mean and bitchy after they become rich and famous?

I wonder if one day I become someone succesful and wealthy, will I change?

“Daddy, when I grow up, I will bring you and mummy travel around the world on first class flight.”

This is what a naive child will always tell their daddy and mummy. When I was a little girl, I always wanted to grow up faster because I wanted to earn money to give my parents a comfortable life. I don’t want to see them working so hard. But as I step forward closer to my dreams, the distance from my parents become further away.

I notice how my parents changed throughout the years. Everytime I go home, I noticed how the white hair are replacing the black ones on my dad’s head. I also noticed there are more and more freckles on my mum’s skin. My heart aches. My parents are growing older, became weaker each year and they no longer could piggyride me to my bed.

You know ever since I step into university, I often heard about news of somebody mum or dad passed away. I feel very sad and at the same time, I feel scared. I worry that one day my parents might leave me suddenly before I manage to fulfill what I promised them. I want my parents to witness my beautiful wedding, I want my parents to play with my children.

We often see how other people living happily out there but in reality, life is not that perfect even though it seems so. Accidents happen and sometimes we might receive unexpected news. One of my close friend’s dad passed away last thursday. It was a shocking news for all of us. I cried in the bathroom when I heard the news. During recent 2 years, many have lost their mum or dad due to cancer and heart failure. Because there were so many, I feel worried about my parents. One of the reason why I’m in medic school is to protect my family. I want them to be healthy so that they can live longer. Perhaps 6 years in medic school is taking too long. Some parents couldn’t wait until this day.

Eddy must be very heart broken now. That kind of feeling of not being able to see or hear him or hug him anymore is a horrible feeling. If there is something that I could ask for, I wish that time can stop for a while. I like everything now, I like it when I could see, touch and feel my family and friends.

This summer I should go take a family photo. Maybe I should take more photos of everyone else. Because I want to remember. Remember how everyone look like in case one day I won’t be able to see them again. Do you have a family potrait? Go get one soon. Because it’s not easy to gather whole family together when everyone is busy working and studying and the photo is what still keeping us together. That’s why I like taking pictures.

I have been spending very little time with people that I am closed to lately. I don’t remember when was the last time of me having a nice chat with Yvonne, Fooie, April and Christina. 5 exams to finish within 2 months, I want to study well and be your good doctor and I want to be there to support Ruth throughout her treatment. Bear with me people. I’ll be home soon, in a nick of time.

Since Christmas is around the corner, I’m very sure that everyone is anxiously anticipating for their presents hidden beneath the Christmas tree. Colorful wrapped boxes, tied with big ribbons. We are so fortunate, being able to live in a comfortable life, being able to celebrate Christmas with family and friends.

Today was particularly cold. I walked past a hunched back old lady this afternoon. She was shivering and was begging for money. There are a lot of unfortunate children and adults out there who lived a hard life and never receive any gifts in their live before. To the poor ones, Christmas is just another ordinary day. But they still continue living and continue smiling even without those gifts.

This Christmas, what are you going to give your loved ones? Teddy bears, handbags, necktie, mp3 player, Nintendo DS?

The gift that I wanted the most for this and every Christmas is just very simple. I wish that he is the first person I see when I wake up every morning. I hope that I could eat lunch and dinner cooked by my mum everyday. I hope to see my dad return safely from work every evening. I wish that I could hug my little brother to sleep every night. Being able to stay closely to each other in the family is a kind of gift.

A gift doesn’t have to be expensive, doesn’t have to be of material, and doesn’t have to spend a single cent on it. Sometimes a kiss and a hug say it all what you wanted to tell the person who receives. Sometimes ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’ means much more than everything in the world.

So what are you giving to your loved ones?

To everyone, home will always the safest place, the most comfortable and warm place where we are most protected. Who would think that the safest place in the world become the most dangerous place for us?

I was shocked to find out that recently someone got abducted and gang-raped in USJ 6. Whoa… finally the raping trend reach USJ area huh?

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/12/3/nation/19646830&sec=nation

This kind of cases has been going on in whole country for a long period of time. Each day when I open TheStar website, I’ll see few rape and murder cases daily. Each time I open the link, my heart beats really fast. I wish that the victim is not someone I know and hope that it happen far far away from my living place. I can only mourn for the victims and wonder why are those guys so inhuman?

I remember how peaceful it was, years ago in our country. Children can run around freely in the park, women can carry any fashionable handbags and go out shopping with friends anytime. Nowadays, we all have to travel in big group. Children can’t go out with neighbour kids to the playground without adults following them. The ladies can’t bring out their newly bought handbags because fear of snatch thief. Girlfriends couldn’t go hang out together without having a group of male friends accompanying them because fear of abduction and being rape.

Our country had changed so much. What have been done to prevent all these crimes and improve the security? Even though going home for holiday is something happy for me but I still feel scared and unsafe when I reach home. In Europe, I could roam around the streets alone at night without have to worry about being rape. In malaysia, even in daytime, when we go, we have to constantly worry about our safety. Snatch thieves. When you stop at the traffic light or petrol station, you have to worry about someone coming over to snatch your car and drive you some where else, rape and murder you. Even when we reach home, there are still chances of having someone to attack you from behind suddenly, kidnap and rape you. Even little children also become the victim of sexual abuse and rape.

Perhaps the best way to solve this is to move back to living on the trees? Safest for all of us. No chance for criminal to get near us. All we have to do is to swing really fast from tree to tree to run away from them. Don’t have to drive, don’t have to stop anywhere to pump petrol or open house gate, no opportunity is given to criminal to get near us. I think I should start buidling a treehouse now.

I saw a child today in my teacher’s clinic. She’s an orphan and she has oligophrenia (low IQ, learning disability, cognitive development disorder, mental retardation). I’m not sure what happened to her parents though, maybe they passed away in accident or maybe they abandoned her when she was born. This poor child can only understand basic instruction from my teacher like “taking off the clothes”, “don’t cry it will not be painful”. She have pigmentary changes in her skin, primary diagnosis given is skin cancer.

She reminds me of the time when I was in the other children hospital for class. Everyday many babies were abandoned by their mother at birth. 40 babies were left unattended in the ward. There are not enough nurses to take care each of them.

My heart cries for these children. Irresponsible adults. Why did they make babies and abandon them? If they know they couldn’t afford to take care of the child then why not take precaution? Condoms and contraceptive pills not working meh? Not only in Russia, even in Malaysia, got people throw a newborn baby down from the balcony in Penang. I wonder what happen to humanity?

Our medical degree from Russia certainly not regarded as good as those from other better countries but however the experience that we get;the poverty, sadness, and broken lives that we saw, we felt is unexchangable. I wish I could do more to protect these little ones. I thought of adopting a child from here and bring her home with me when I graduate but according to the child adoption policy, I have to be married right? I can’t save everybody alone but if I could, I would want to help as many as possible.

Ciao~ continue my studies. 2 more days left.