I feel very very down this evening. I just want to say some non-sensible crap to someone/something/to the wall/thin air? I can’t go to the few same friend to complain about same thing over and over again or else people will feel tired listening to me eventually. Sorry………
I am a melancholy princess.
I never feel happy because no one should be happy.
I never smile because there is no reason to.
I am turning into a melancholic person everyday.
If you ask if I like my job? I love it of course. I enjoy helping people.
The thing that I dislike is the environment and people where I’m working in. Sometimes I feel suffocated and I couldn’t breathe. And silly girl, I fall sick after stressing myself above the threshold level I could take. I had fever.
Each time I wake up, I tell myself let’s make today a great day.
And so I did. I learn from those people I admire the most. I finished my job faster each time. I learn from the mistakes I made and be more attentive and make less mistake. From day zero till today, I feel that I’ve improved a lot. And yet…………..
Maybe I am slow. Maybe I am just not good enough. Or maybe bcos this is a country where skin color does matter. Or maybe I am the unfortunate one they picked to give a hard life to.
So tell me….
what do you do when you are upset?
I feel a little depressed here.
At the beginning, it was passion.
And then no one appreciate what you do anyway.
Whether you are hardworking or responsible or very good……. they say you got attitude problem because someone thinks that you are a thorn in the skin and that person is trying all the best to make your life harder and more miserable. It must be fun to torment another poor soul huh?
And so I became like others, I can’t be bother so much anyway. Everyday spending my day waiting for time to pass quickly so that I could get a nice dinner, hot shower and a good sleep. And then the next day act like a dumb ass, listen to sometimes really crude comments that makes you wonder God-knows- come-from-where and then forget about it, go get some ice cream after work and then continue the cycle until your paycheck comes in.
But deep inside I know this is just not the way it should be. However sometimes I’m too tired to bother. But it hurts sometimes especially you got framed for something you did not do.
I gonna give up soon if my health is deteriorating and I can’t tolerate more stress.
.
Hey there. You know if you got no one to complain. You can still complain to me ya.
Anyway, I understand this, somehow expectations are being put higher on those who are deemed ‘hardworking’ to them. Same here, I am supposed to finish my project dateline within this month and with so many things to do. Darn it
Haha… u r just lazy la =P. Ok next time when I call u, make sure u answer!
hmmmm… all i can say is, you need to let it go. talk to me.
>.< I can't sign in MSN for this moment. Meebo.com is down. DAMN!!!!
Do your best learn to let go. I was very emo and see things negative all the time, after I learned how to let go easily, I feel much better and always cheerful.
Take care.
Kenny, U gotta be more creative bcos i saw the same comment in Coco’s blog! =P
I too loss my passion over time.
But then, some moments like patients felt better after treatment, kids down with illness smile after our care, made me more appreciate my job.
Never aspect people to say thanx after your long hours of hard work.
However, this should not demotivate you.
YY, you are a good doctor, and the medical field needs someone like you.
keep up and i m always there if u need an ear….
=) But then medicboyz, my patients came back to say thank you and I miss you! to me…… which make it kinda hard for me to let go this job. But then ah really scared la, got ppl keep threatening me want to extend me.
So you feel now sad and stressed.
From my own experience, to fight stress, the essential is to control your respiration and to divert your attention from the stress source to one of your bodily functions, to an object or to an abstract thought. It’s like a micro-yoga which you can perform in many circumstances.
Also going for a walk outside if you have a break or simply walking or bike riding to your hospital is good.
There is a good article in Wikipedia about stress management.
If some people stress you particularly, to avoid uncontrolled reaction, try to develop compassion towards them, imagine them when they were a baby. When well in control of yourself, discuss the situation with them; try to understand their point of view.
You can also try to change your assignment.
And don’t forget, it’s only six hundred more days of suffering.
So re-joy and hope always.
Marek
Lol… if I cycle to work, I think I’ll end up in the hospital as patient as well knowing how malaysians drive. I’ve tolerated enough with this kind of ppl. They just keep stepping over the line. I’m tired with it. But somehow I will find something to cheer myself up. Thanks Marek.