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It has been raining these few days. The sky is gloomy and dark, it matches exactly with my feelings right now. Next week, I’ll be going back to Kursk, Russia. 4 months of holiday has come to the end for me and yet my heart feel reluctant to go back there. I think I must have enjoy myself here too much already till I refuse to go back.

This year summer holiday is a little bit unique for me. Lol, I bet others couldn’t get what I experienced here even though they will pay millions for it. What can I say? Cancer have certainly make my life more beautiful. I’m in my 5th year now, will graduate in summer 2009. What will come next is yet to be known.

Internet connection have been very slow and terrible these days. It takes more than 10 minutes to load my dashboard. So blogging will be slowed down as well. =D and besides, I’m too bored here until my otak berkarat, don’t have inspiration to write yet. I hope I could post something interesting and yet meaningful…. hmmm… need to do brainstorming tonight.

Would you choose to…..

…. live a short but meaningful life with exciting experiences, full of happiness and suprises…..

or would you want to…..

…..live a long but dull boring life with no excitement, tied to daily routine, work till you die…..

Which one will you choose?
For me, I think I will choose option 1. Life, we can only live once. Doesn’t matter how long I have to live but I want to live a meaningful life, contribute something to the world…. and die SMILING =)!

After almost 5 years in Russia, this is my first time celebrating mooncake festival at home. Even though we did not make it big, but this year mooncake festival means much more to me. Throughout the years, everyone grew up and has changed, so do I. This is the first celebration I celebrate this year as a different individual, a cancer survivor. For the past few months, it has been very tough for me but I went through also. I hope all the cancer patients who are undergoing treatment right now, please don’t give up. For life, there is still a long long way to go, and there are a lot of things to accomplish.

*K bought me these beautiful yummy mooncakes from Hong Kong. I heard from my aunt that this is the best mooncake brand in Hong Kong.
I remembered few years back, she brought some home. (And I tell you hor, these mooncakes are not as sweet as those sold here. Some are sugar-free.) But so wasted because I couldn’t taste it’s sweetness this time. Next year or next next year, I hope I could eat it myself and give comment about the taste. P/s: Maybe Misha can bring some back for us to try? ^^


Time passes so quickly hor? It feels like just yesterday when we were young, running around with colorful lanterns. Back then, every year I have my own theme for lantern. I think the most beautiful lantern I ever had was a butterfly lantern which the body part is a bit square-ish so that it will protect the candlelight from the wind. I used to keep it until about like 7 years ago, my sister burned it accidentally. And I used to have one ninja turtle lantern too when I was about hmmm.. standard 2 or 3.


Looking at these happy children playing, makes me miss my childhood a lot, a lot. I love to be a child, play like a child and I am still a big child inside this adult body. I love children very very much for unknown reason. Perhaps it was the condition that I grow up in influenced me. Since young, I always wanted to grow up to be someone who can protect other children. I think that most adults are bad, always bullying us that are at younger age. Even when we go buy food also want to cheat our money.

Maybe in the next post, I will write more about my childhood. Hehe, well it might be kinda boring because I’m a boring stupid girl with no life. Lol.

Happy Mooncake Festival everyone!!!~

Today I did some reading on ENT because I’m feeling bored and I have 5 exams to catch up this semester.
I found something disturbing.

………Tumors of salivary gland origin have a better short term prognosis, but many of these patients die with recurrent tumors many years later……………

No wonder everyone in kursk, they were so worried about me. Bcos, the line above was found in our little ENT book written by professor Konoplya, page 160, line 4-6.

Thinking about it, I will have few more years left to live, I wonder if it’s enough for me to complete things that I wish to do. It is possible for me to be married and have children? I always wanted a daugther of my own but in case I’ll die young, then who will take care of my kids? So the not-so-selfish thought should be I shouldn’t get married and bring life to any kids.

But then again… I refuse to give up my life and a chance to be loved and be happy….
so I do more further reading in different textbooks and I find…..

See…. life is not that hopeless afterall and besides I had the whole deep lobe of parotid gland which the tumor contained in removed totally. And according to oxford oncology handbook, with wide surgical removal, this type of tumor will be cured.

Our life is in our hand. How long you want to live and how happy you want it to be depends on your will. How determined are you to continue to live? I will never let the other 8% of chances of death to take my life away. Because I know I was here for a reason. Yvonne once told me that I was made for the weak. I know I am here to protect the children, to protect people who needs comfort.

Well, enough of this sappy mood. I’m going out shopping for my backpack. Tata~

Yvonne invited me for lunch at her college today. She opened the eyes of this sakai (ME!) to how the cafeteria in colleges and universities should be. Eh what to do, I have been staying in Russia for almost 5 years lor… been complaining about the food there since like forever but duh! russians will never listen. (Errrhhhh, the food sold in our uni’s “cafe”…. unable to describe. I shall post the pictures of it once I go back to Russia! I hope dat hairy syavarma(kebab wrapped in some popiah-skin/roti canai looking thing) guy still there selling it.)

Meet up with Reuben Koh (his trademark —> cute chubby teddy bear/panda bear of Segi college) and his friend Anthony.

Aha, I could taste this! I could taste this! It tastes sweeeeettt. I think it’s a strawberry milk shake ordered by Yvonne. Well, my taste buds still haven’t recover fully yet but however being able to taste more things means I’m progressively recovering! Good indication. =)

Special Beef burger of the day, ordered by Reuben. Looks so yummy and tempting! Uuuuhhhhh but ever since I got the email about cancer from WenWei… I temporarily dare not touch beef and lamb and chicken! But of course if small piece, no harm kua… carcinogenic effect very small only =P. Hehehe.

Presenting Mr.Reuben to demonstrate to you how juicy and yummy it is~… oh he said it doesn’t taste much like a beef. Perhaps they mixed pork in it?

Aaaahhh, the chicken pie looks warm and nice so both me and Yvonne order it. Comes with coleslaw and mashed potatoes and some green leaf salad. All for rm6.95! Let me convert to roubles and see, it will be about 49 roubles. How nice if I could eat such a nice set meal in russia….. hopeless la our uni!

This is Ms. Sham, psychologist lecturere(left) and Ms. Padma, english lecturer (right). These lovely ladies are so friendly… students of Segi college are so blessed to have them as lecturer.

The world is so small, you know. Reuben Koh knows Teo Ik Hui, whole family! Teo~ if u bully me, I will tell Reuben. Anybody else who knows me or my friends or my friends’ friend?