Eheh, I am not the typical classical parent, I hope. If your doctor says it is ok for you to be out and running on the beach, then maybe the sun will do you good? BTW, I ‘ran away’ from home at 21 yrs old cos I am legally not under their hold. I forgot how old you are but sometimes, we need to live our own lives. Get what I mean? Then again, they are worried for you, I guess.

Lilian, u are a great mum! At least u are not superstitious like my mum! I feel really suffering during my treatment because all my diet was restricted to organic food only. I know they are worry about me but I tried explaining to them and told them what i want but they will never listen to me. And my mum will go emo and start crying which left me really going crazy because I’m not that kind of person who would wan to hurt other people’s feeling. She just makes me feel very guilty and miserable sometimes but my heart is too soft to go against her. I will celebrate 22nd birthday next month soon. If I runaway also will stir up another problem for all my friends, they would call them up one by one and scold them I think bcos when I go yumcha at mamak with my friend, go home late also my friend would kena scolded by them. I feel really lost dunno wat to do sometimes.

Dear YuinYin,

I understand how you felt, being an ‘obedient’ child who never dare to go against ur parents,yet deep in ur heart you feel like shouting out what u really feel/want but your little inner ‘voice’ was never heard. That’s why it’s frustrating in ur case bcos ur parents dun understand you,or perhaps u dun understand them as well. You can try to change their perception of being a ‘conservative’ parents,but I will suggest you to accept the fact, and try to change whatever you can to adapt to it. Bcos afterall, it’s hard to change ur parents mindset.

I do not hv similar experience as you,bcos my parents are totally opposite of urs. I would consider my parents as being overly ‘open-minded’, to the extent that sometimes I feel neglected or not being cared about. The good thing is I got all the freedom I wanted, but on the other hand I never felt being cared as much. Not that ‘m saying they dun love me, just that every parents hv their own ways to show their love. Lucky that I dint misused my freedom and turn into problematic teenagers =P

When you think the other way round, you should be happy and feel lucky, for ur parents put a lot attention and care for you. Remember,all they wanted for you is just the best for your life, though that might not be what you really wanted to be. Learn to think from their perspective and you’ll gradually feel better than being frustrated now,agree? =)

Good or bad,it’s always hard to say. This moment you might hate ur parents a lot, but someday later when you look back to what you say today, you’ll probably regretting it. Bcos I was once like this too… No one’s perfect,just like ur parents as well. As what people always said, we can choose our frens,our partner,but we never can choose our parents….

-aLLYSa-

….sigh…
Allysa, can we exchange place for a week? =P cos i seriously desperate to go on holiday this weekend. Have plans dat need to be accomplish. need to take pictures for a charity project to help raise funds for yvonne. aiyoyo~ how la now….

I actually agreed with what Lilian said. Me too “run” away from home when I am 21 hehehe and went to stay with my bf , now husband because they are too overprotective, too demanding, too want-to-control my life.

But here, I am not advising you to run away. Just give them a note you will be away for few days to break away from whatever you are facing now. Tell them you love them, but after all these chemo thing, you should value more on your own life now.

I think you should be talking to them and try to make them understand.

Waaaahhh~~~ babyfiona! I really salute u for this!!!! Wooo~ I want to make u my idol ^^. Oh well, if my bf is rich and financially able hor.. of course i also runaway from home leadi lu. Lol cepat-cepat kahwin bcom siu lai lai. Too bad, I still haven’t finish my MD,he also still got Master degree haven’t finish… both also not independent yet, how to get $$$$ to live?

Parents can be unreasonable sometimes and it is understandable when you are frustrated with their overprotective nature. They are parents and that’s what they do. Frankly, I have never been a daughter who accepts a “no” from my parents easily - i’ve always been a rebel because I question their actions/instructions. Perhaps you should too and by that I don’t mean disrespecting them. Sometimes we have to the wrong thing to be in the right because your parents need to understand that you’re a young woman and having battled cancer does not back step your transition to adulthood one bit.

From your post, you seem to have silently taken to all their whims and fancy because you want to be the good, filial daughter. I am sure they meant well but there must be a happy zone where both of you are comfortable in for a parent-child relationship to be a healthy and happy one. This is where you will need to send some rules about how you want to be treated - not as a child but as an adult.

Torn between your own independence and being the obedient daughter you need to ask yourself this, YuinYin: Would you only start making your own decisions after your parents are gone or would you want to start making your own decisions now?

The choice is, always, yours.

Yea, i want to make decision for myself… but no one would listen… so I am still talking to the wall. And most of the time, oklar nvm probably they dun let maybe they have a reason for not letting u do something. Maybe financial problem, worry about ur health or etc… but then somehow sometimes I just think that it’s just too much.

If im not mistaken, In last few post, you just mentioned how much u love your parent and how much u dont want them to worry about u, now you are saying that you hate them??

And here i warn you.. Please dont run away from home.. many thing can happen out of our control.. Even if u leave a notes that u will be away for few days, sometimes, it wont go so smoothly as u had planned..

I have a friend.. he suffered a heart decease.. but just like you, he survive the operation and being wad at home… His parent prevent him from drinking too much water due to some reason, saying that it was on order from doc.. But it happen that He disobey the order, drink one whole bottle tat afternoon, and he died..

you are you and your life suppose to be in ur own control… tat one i can agree with you.. but please consider the feeling of those who love u.. understand them.. My friend die, the one suffered most is not him, but his parent who blame themself for not protective enuf.. for the rest of their life, the black dot will stay there…

When something happen to you, yeah.. u suffered a lot.. but do understand that your parent suffered more than you.. Please put urslf in their shoes..

sorry if i being too harsh, sorry ya.. just to let you know what i think..

errhhmm jing, I faced death twice. Do you think death will affect me so much? Because I have lost things and feel regret twice so this time I will not want to let anyone to disappoint or fal my plans. My parents keep telling me i have next year to do this and do dat but accident happen anytime. What if tomolo I die in car accident and never get a chance to go next year? not that I selfish or anything, it’sjust that i have lost too many things. And I don’twant to regret about anything anymore. At this moment, if I die, I won’t feel regret for not completing certain things that I wanted to do.

I do not know why your classic parents disapprove of the idea. Maybe they don’t want to have you sleeping around. And parents, they have reached a certain age, their thinking will be fixated forever.

I am the rebel at home and my parents have lived with me like this all their lives. I mean, mom’s a Hakka. What do you expect? LOL!

So if you cancel your trip, K will suffer losses? Tell your parents to pay K back lah. Since they walked back on their words. An eye for an eye.

Nolar, he still on a business trip also actually ahaha. Go Penang also still have to work!

Got the answer already? Pray pray your plan succeeded k! hahaa

Trust me, you wont wanna exchange place with me, if u really know wat i had gone through all these yrs in my family..haha..well, all I can say is that every family has its own problem.

Anyway,wishing you good luck in persuading ur parents n hope tat u’ll enjoy this trip with ur bf ^^ Prove to ur parents tat u’ve grown up now and can take care of urself, and most importantly,is that ur decision is the right one

-aLLYSa-