5 days I haven’t eaten anything except for a few spoonful of plain porridge every meal just enough to filled in my stomach so that I can take my medicine. I lost about 1 kg. Lol, if this go on for another month until my treatment finish, I gonna weight 42kg only by the end of the treatment! =) faster than Slimming sanctuary! Can sell off my uZap also. Wah so kool, now the baby fat on my arm and face gone liao. Woohoo~ =P Now can save some money on liposuction.

I asked today Dr.Foo how long the pain will last.
She said “until your treatment finish”.
I was like “harh…. means still got 1 more month to go!”.
Dr.Foo: “Yes, that’s why I have to help you stop the pain so that you can continue eating, girl. I have to give you morphine liao. The side effect of morphine is you will feel a bit drowsy drowsy but don’t worry you won’t get addicted.”
Me: =(… *sob *sob… there goes 1 month of my beautiful summer vacation….

Now even drinking 1 sip of water can cause enough pain to make me cry. Can you imagine how many tears I dropped already? Oooh and I think I kinda lose my taste buds temporarily. I couldn’t taste sweet things. Yesterday I ate my mum birthday’s cake and I thought my sister bought such a terrible tasting cake. But today also the same, I ate orange sponge cake and it’s tasteless to me. EEeeewww…. no wonder I dun have appetite to eat also because everything is tasteless to me. I think I just have to stick to porridge for this one whole month.

See… I kena poked twice this morning because my hand is so small, my vein also so small… Pauline the nurse is having hard time to find my vein. When finally manage to insert the cannula, no blood is coming out lol. Cos they need to take some blood sample for full red blood count in case I have anemia or neutropenia. But frankly speaking SJMC got a lot of beautiful and sweet nurses around. I just love them! How I wish i’m a guy so that at least I can pikat and marry them =P.
(P/S: Lucas I think you’ll love to be here. hahaha~)

This is the drug for my chemotherapy. Cool leh. I somehow love that label a lot. I wonder if they have extra. I want to keep it as collection.

My doctor gave me lidocaine to make my tongue, my gum and mucosa numb first so that I can eat anything without pain. But eeeuuuuwwwwkkkk…. the lidocaine taste horrible~ And I have to keep it in my mouth for several minutes till my tongue started to feel numb then swallow it. Suddenly… the will to eat gone~ And there my morphine to kill the pain!

I don’t understand why parents always have to be so stubborn. I ask my mum can I have a bite of daddy’s stir-fry pork please? I already ask nicely and added the word “please” wud. I only ask her for a bite of meat and she start talking to me in loud tone and emo emo… and then cry. Really… can someone tell me what should I do? I’ve been eating those organic food for 2 months long every single meal!!!! I body can sense my red blood count is going low, that’s why I have this desire to eat meat so much, basically I want bloody food!!! (oh why i dun eat beans for my iron blood supply? bcos i hate beans… i hated the way they smell.) Arrrrggghhh why the boy opposite my bed can happily eat nasi lemak and I can’t? The auntie besides me eat hokkien mee leh~ And that apek at bed number 3 eat fried chicken wing! >_<” uuuwwwaaaa I cannot tahan liao lar~~~~~

Right now I got so tired and so sick of organic food. Hearing the word “organic” makes me shiver and trigger my vomiting center in my brain. Suddenly I wish no one ever introduce organic food to the world. Ish……

I smell blood… and I want blood. *lick lick. Why do I suddenly feel like a vampire? <.<”