Weaker…..

Posted by: Yuin Yinin Cancer & me, Health, My life, c'est la vie
31
Jul

I become weaker with each radiotherapy and chemotherapy. Today I try to eat “pan mee” to fill in my empty stomach, but I ended up vomiting out later. This is my first vomiting since the treatment started. I met Dinesh at ss19 just now eating “pan mee”. He said i look very “chan” (weary) already. Yea, i know. It’s the side effect from those therapies.

Yesterday evening, I suddenly “collapse”. I’m not sure how to explain this. At first i was feeling drowsy and then the next moment I just dropped on my bed and unable to wake up, unable to move my body no matter how I tried. Then i just let it be and sleep for a while. Very weird feeling, I was very weak, very tired. Probably I’m running out of energy because these few days I didn’t eat much. I wanted to eat but I just couldn’t withstand the pain and then stop eating. If I try to force myself to eat more, I’ll end up vomiting everything out.

It’s just so difficult. I feel hungry and tired and wanted to eat but I just couldn’t bear the pain. Tramadol hydrochloride not effective enough for me as painkiller. I think Dr.Foo have to give me morphine soon and also IV glucose since I couldn’t eat.

Right now the only one that can cheer me up, accompany me to sleep, stay with me…. is my teddy bear. Bear bear 辛苦你了。

amigurumi-chocolate-bear.jpg

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 31st, 2007 at 1:48 pm and is filed under Cancer & me, Health, My life, c'est la vie. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

9 comments so far

1.  Yvonne Foong
July 31st, 2007 at 6:55 pm

Dear,, I am so sorry that I can’t be there for you at this time. If this helps at all, I am feeling weak too over here. I can’t do many things that I did in recent trips. I can’t go out for long. Eve a short 1 mile walk left my back muscles with pain.

orry if it doesn’t sound nice. I still don’t know if letting another feel :”related” by my personal experience actually work. I just want to tel you that I am also in pain. Therefore I understand you, and I know your pain is far greater than mine.

I am always thinking about you, and my best wishes all go to you. Love you lots.

2.  -aLLYSa-
July 31st, 2007 at 7:23 pm

Dear Yuin Yin,

I’m sorry to know tat u suffer from all the pains and agony. I will not say I truly understand how it feels as I never gone through those pain you experienced. But please be strong. Believe that God loves you, and that these trials may weaken your body physically, but it’ll never weaken ur souls and faith in fighting against the illness. Whatever happens, God will make a way for you. Do take more rest and remember to pray to God for strength whenever you feel insecure or lost. May God continue to bless you and love you abundantly =) Take good care. I know u’re a tough gal *hugs*

-aLLYSa-

3.  Freethinker
July 31st, 2007 at 8:42 pm

Your bear bear is cute.. Hang in there

4.  DoubleKill
July 31st, 2007 at 8:53 pm

Rest well yea. No matter how, strengthen your mind and pray seeking for true health from God. May GoD heal you soon.

5.  ipohchai
August 1st, 2007 at 6:03 am

hang on there gal.
I just hope everything would just be fine for you.
;-)

6.  hao
August 1st, 2007 at 2:31 pm

Be strong! There’s always errr… rainbow or sun after each rain. Wait a minute, got such phrase right? Hehehe…

Take care!

7.  Yuin Yin
August 1st, 2007 at 7:38 pm

Thanks all~ But errhhh do anyone have any suggestion how to stop the pain.. or at least soothe it a bit? =( so painful now… arrrggghhh

8.  Sweetpea
August 4th, 2007 at 11:44 pm

hi yuin yin. i got here thru 5xmom’s blog and i read thru all your posts! very captivating with your ultra positive outlook and great sense of humour.

here i am complaining about my so-called aches and pains, and yours, i can’t even start comparing.

hang in there, it will be better. sorry i can’t with the pain though. try driving your thots away from it, like meditating, listening to calming music perhaps? that’s about as non-medical as i can get :P

take care~

9.  YuinYin
August 6th, 2007 at 3:50 pm

Hi sweetpea, thanks for dropping by =).
lol, yea i’m trying every possible way to reduce the pain including eating ice, smoothies etc.

 

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