Hey guys,
glad to tell u that i have discharge from Subang Jaya Medical Center.My X-ray and ultrasound results show that all other organs are normal and clear from any metastasis. So Dr. Foo, my oncologist give me the green card to leave the hospital. Dr. Chandran says my prognosis is good. They just have to keep me under close observation until my chemotherapy starts next month. For people who doesn’t know yet, my biopsy result reveal that my tumor is malignant. It’s acinic cell type of malignant tumor. Yes, in another word, I have cancer of the parotid gland. 90% of the tumor found in parotid gland is usually benign. I’m one lucky girl to be part of the minority of 10%.

I’m feeling a bit tired now. I gonna take a nap then I’ll update my blog again. My facial nerve function has not recover completely yet. I can’t close my right eye completely, that’s why my right eye feel dry and uncomfortable most of the time therefore I have this tendency to fall asleep every half an hour. Basically whole half part of my face on the right side can’t move easily due to the weakness of facial nerve. According to Bailey&Love’s or was it oxford clinical handbook…. Dun remember which textbook I read, I need 3 weeks for complete recovery of my facial nerve function.

I’m back home. See how distorted is my smile? oh they shaved some of my hair on the right side to clear the operative field. Hey u guys still in russia, shud get me a wig. When i start my chemotherapy probably i’ll lose more hair.

Oh my, i hope the scar won’t stay there for long.

Oh by the way, Desmond manage to drop by this morning before i was discharge. Seems like his mum drag him to SJMC for medical check up bcos he ate too much KFC and McD. XD He have high level of uric acid and hypercholesterolemia. Warning! People when we go out yumcha with Desmond, we must go to those healthy vegetarian restaurant or bring plenty of anti-oxidants for him. Ooooo… ooops, i should stop laughing now. My wounds hurt. Scare I laugh too much later my wound pecah. Lolz. C ya. Wait for my updates later. I’m just too lazy to type so many smses to ppl. See i have to inform Lucas, mariam, Teo, pei shin, April, Yvonne, Liyi, desmond, malcolm, vincent, hui min,…..blah blah blah…… there goes the list of my important friends. Guess i better go sleep now. my right eye hurts.

All this while, i play the role of a doctor. I do every procedures, i make the diagnosis, I put the treatment for my patients. I never imagine how hard it is to be the patient myself. Although it’s only CT scan, not any invasive instrumental investigation, i feel scared. I’m afraid of the result. I’m afraid if the outcome is bad.

Result from my CT scan yesterday;
Right parotid tumor measuring 25 x 19mm with adjacent lymphadenopathy. Adjacent lymph nodes are enlarged up to 15 mm. Tiny subcentimeter hypodense left thyroid nodule is seen.

Superficial parotidectomy is indicated. Understandable, there are changes in lymph nodes, possible the tumor turning into a malignant one if it is not removed quickly. When Dr. Chandran asked me is it ok to have the operation scheduled on wednesday morning, i told him yes directly without much consideration. Because that time the only thing that came into my mind was I want to go through this nightmare ASAP. I’ve been there; saw that, I know how horrible that whole surgical process is. But now, I couldn’t help myself from thinking the extra extra stuff that ordinary patient will not worry about. The post operative complication. 7 important nerves passed through the parotid gland. If the surgeon cut any of these, I’ll lose innervations somewhere in the face. I am a medical student after all. Doctor can’t hide secrets from me.

Complications:
- cosmetic deffects: creates a hollow anterior and inferior to the ear, long scar
- facial nerve injury: Studies have found that transient paralysis of all or part of the facial nerve occurs in 17% to 100% of patients undergoing parotidectomy, depending on the extent of the resection and the location of the tumor. If worst, facial palsy.
- Frey syndrome results from damage to the parasympathetic fibres
- salivary fistula
- Loss of sensation to the earlobe due to damage to the great auricular nerve

I’m very worried now because i know i will not be beautiful anymore. But i should learn to trust Dr. Chandran. Even for me, I always wanted to help my patient, wanted to give in my very best to help them recover. If i don’t learn to trust like a patient, then in future, no one will dare to put their trust in me. Perhaps this is a trial for me. Just being that person standing aside watching, forever will never know what is the patient thinking. It’s so hard to be a patient. I can imagine what yvonne going through each and everytime a new tumor is found. But she is so brave, I wish i can be as brave as her. Compared to NF, this tumor of mine is nothing unless it is turning malignant.

I am very selfish, i know. Till last minute, i still care about my look. In case things will never be the same again for me, i wish to be remembered as the beautiful me.

I will be admitted to SJMC this evening. My operation is at 9.30am tomolo. For more information, Desmond will inform you guys. I’ll sms you guys my room number later. For tonite, han nern will spend overnight there with me. [Ok, han nern fong fei kei]. On thursday, i hope Liyi remembers she’s camping there with me. >_< i’m afraid of hantu la~ DO bring the cross, the garlics, and so when visit me k? =P

5 years ago, there’s a very sick girl, me went to various doctors to seek for advice.
But they all give me doubts. Some doctors… i wonder, did they completed their 6 years studies in medic school? They can’t even give me a primary diagnosis or some differential diagnosis. Some doctors, they start flipping their textbooks and compare those pictures in textbok with my condition and tell me that possible i have this viral infection or that infection etc. They kinda reminds me of our friends here in Kursk who cheats for every single exam. In the end, they brain is totally empty. So normal GP are useless, i decided to go to specialist. Sunway Medical centre being so high class and having such a good reputation came into my consideration. They sent me to ENT department. It was so long ago that i don’t remember the doctors name anymore. 1 ENT doctor refer me to another ENT doctor. Probably they don’t know how to classify 16 yr old me into the paeds category or adult medicine. I asked my paeds teacher, she said from birth till 18 years old, we are under the care of pediatricians. So guys, next time make sure u bring ur kids to the right department!

And that ENT doctor without any subjective & objective examination, without lab analysis, CT scan, X-ray, MRI, etc….. he put his diagnosis directly and the treatment —-> Surgery is a must. When are u free, i’ll arrange the OT, it will cost u some RM10k+. Hearing such conclusion that is without explaination… u think a NORMAL human being will let him simply cut u up and earn 10k+?
Such doctor is not a good doctor. They put money over their patient’s life as their first priority. Though money is undeniable very important, but have they forgotten the essence of being a doctor? A doctor’s job is to cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always.

Oh no, and then this stupid girl choose to study medic, she goes all the way to Russia to learn about medicine, to learn about medical procedures and find out possible diagnosis about her own sicknesss. It took her 5 years, to be equipped with sufficient knowledge, to be prepared to seek for consultation again. One senior recommended me to go SJMC bcos most of the doctors there are very good,… no, they are excellent doctors.
I’m glad that at least the ENT doctor in SJMC do their job properly.

1. Ask complains from patient
2. Obtain history of disease
3. Objective examination: palpation of lymh nodes, check ears, nose and mouth like what we learnt in Russia. You know, the sticking mini mirror into ur oral cavity to check your choanas, vocal cord, tonsils etc, then the nose speculum to check the nose.

[P/s: Gerald, i have really bad impression on doctors from Sunway Medical la... I dun trust them even though they graduated from Aussie, NZ. Hell, russian medical students also good wat! Why do medical staff in GH like to pick on us?]

Hey guys, i’m back. Still alive and kicking.
Arrived on 6th june 2.30pm in KLIA. But due to my muscles splinting….. ouch!… i need few days of bed rest and restriction in movement. Any movement that involve the diaphragm; coughing, laughing, shouting, deep inspiration, even bangsai also will induce unbearable pain. But now condition has improved, at least now i can turn my body.

5 days without internet in russia, is really suffering. Can’t blog, can’t on9. >_< eeekkk!!!~ But if i pay for internet hor also not worth cos it's too expensive. rm200 for 400MB? no way man.... i rather spend on shoes here ehehe. Now should i compensate back n fill in the missed posts? Have so much to post, probably i'll edit the date then.

Meanwhile, i need someone to go watch pirates of carribean 3 with me. Liyi watched already, gerald also. Vincent is no where to be seen, malc is working.... oi no one else free meh? Aaahh excited, can't wait to go out makan with april and yvonne tomolo.
Uh suppose to go get my haircut and get it permed today, but then on second thought, if i gonna end up on operating table soon, a bit wasted if i get my hair do now. Just got back from SJMC for consultation. THe ENT doctor is so cool la... i mean his equipement. Haha more hi-tech than our Prof. Konoplya's. Basic equipments like mirror n nose speculum is about the same. At least the technique of examination i learnt is the same like Dr. Chandran. Phew... this proved that what i learned in Russia is not useless afterall.

My CT scan is scheduled on next Monday, hopefully the prognosis is good. Pls pls let it be benign tumor.
Since going into OT is unavoidable, maybe i should do liposuction on my face also... and maybe do breast enlargement also?... and maybe do plastic surgery on my face as well, correct my nose and lips and ehehe.... but if i do all these, then i won't be yuinyin anymore. So i shall stay original, unless something bad will happen to my face post-op.

Oklar, from this moment onwards, will be intensive blogging here. Thank you for dropping by my blog.

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