Terrance Stanley Fox (July 28, 1958 – June 28, 1981) was a Canadian humanitarian, athlete, and cancer research activist born in Winnipeg, Manitoba. He was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in March 1977 and had his right leg amputated. Despite with one leg amputated, he embarked on a cross-Canada run to raise money and awareness for cancer research using an artificial leg. On 1st September 1980, after 143 days and 5,373 kilometres (3,339 miles) Terry stopped running outside of Thunder Bay, Ontario; where his primary cancer had spread to his lungs and ultimately cost him his life. Before returning to BC for treatment Terry said, “I’m gonna do my very best. I’ll fight. I promise I won’t give up.” Terry Fox dies at Royal Columbian Hospital, New Westminster, British Columbia – one month short of his twenty-third birthday in 1981.
Shyt! Blog got hacked by some really jobless people.
Sigh… now I lost all the 2010 & 2011 blog posts. Not like I blog a lot also. But there were some post which I really really treasures.
I wonder is it a good sign for me to restart blogging all over?
end of one miserable journey and another begins.
Finally today is the last day of housemanship.
I wonder how did I made it for past 2 years.
Bravo! Now I need to change my life to a happier mode.
She dropped the phone and burst into tears
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it and held her tight
Cancer don’t discriminate or care if you’re just 38
With three kids who need her in their lives
He said, “I know that you’re afraid and I am, too
But you’ll never be alone, I promise you”
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more breath
Just take my hand, together we can do this
I’m gonna love you through it.
She made it through the surgery fine
They said they cut her just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
Now it’s forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what cancer took from her
But she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said, ” I don’t think I can do this anymore”
He took her in his arms and said “that’s what my love is for”
And when the road gets too long
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
I’m gonna love you through it
Who in this world doesn’t want to live happily ever after?
Of course it is easier to say than to be done. Like what people always says you don’t always gets what you want in your life.
But still, I would still like to try and wish that people around me would understand and encourage me and stand up for me when I need them. (Not giving me every negative feedback that pops up in their head, discouraging and hurtful words.) Hey, true friends suppose to pray for your happiness! Right?
If we shut all the doors and don’t give a try, how would we know if we ever get that thing we wanted right?
Cancer taught me life is too short to think about what’s gonna happen next in future.
I know some people thinks that I am unrealistic, chasing after something unreal, who cares?
But do you know something? At that particular moment, I was very happy. It never occurs in my mind that something sweet like this will ever happen in my life. Its like I’ve been chasing after something that I’ll never ever gonna get in my entire life and “pop”… suddenly it appear and I should grab it even if it only last for few seconds right? I just feel very contented and very happy. Not sure what is the outcome, though I am hopeful, but not greedy. I’m not asking for more.
Though I’m yearning to be loved by someone sincerely, I’m not putting high hopes on anything and anyone. Bcos the best things in life come to you when you least expected. That is why I’m not asking for anything in return!
Dear god, I’m not greedy. I just want to be happy. Sincerely.
Do you ever have this kind of feeling?
Feel like doing a lot a lot of things such as try to sort out everything undone such as laundry, clean the house, iron all the shirts, update & touch up ur blog, do some reading (ur best friend – the medical textbooks uuurrrghhhh!!!), have some silent moment by yourself drinking a hot cappuccino while reading your favourite novel in a cozy cafe…..
Each time after work I have such thought but it is always either I feel too tired to do anything and end up sleeping or go out shopping to refill your fridge & your toilet rolls which might take half your day (coz while shopping, you will always ended up being distracted by other object such as dresses, shoes & handbags =.=”) and then I’ll end up lying in my bed at the end of the day.
24 hours is too short a day isn’t it? When you’re at work, you wish that time please pass quickly… (seeing a ward full of patients & their relatives (like a pasar malam) really scares me as I dislike crowd)
Oh gosh…. another accumulated pending blogpost I see….. *faints.
Still got one pile of clothes not yet wash & one pile of clothes not folded. Seee…. when I say I need a maid… I really need her help so that I have more time to do something for myself.
People who are living under the same roof with their parents will never understand. They are just too comfortable.
Did you purposely came to bid me last goodbye yesterday night?
I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately but I didn’t have the courage to pick up the phone to call you. I was scared that you’ll never answer my call or to hear some bad news over the phone. I have doubts but in my heart I wish that you will still be alive. I was wondering how are you doing – Are you happy? Are you free of pain? Are you living your life to the fullest with no regrets? Quietly I pray for you in my heart everyday, hope that you’ll be free from suffering. Each time when I check the computer, seeing your name & updated laboratory results made me feel so glad.
Last night, I was shocked to see you in red zone. I’m sorry I didn’t recognised you. When I saw the name on the patient’s card, tears started filling up my eyes. I tried so hard to hold my tears back in front of you so that you won’t feel upset but I couldn’t hold it any longer so I let my colleague attend to you while I go out to dry my tears.
You look so weak and helpless. In just 3 months time, you’ve turned into a different person. There were bruises & ecchymosis all over your body. Blood was dripping out from your nose & gums non-stop. You could barely talk and your lips are almost white in color. The white cell count is 112, hemoglobin 2.7, platelet 3, all the other cell component – zero.
Acute Lymphoid Leukemia – the blardy cancer suck out so much life from you.
It felt like someone was squeezing my heart with all his strength, my heart ached so much when I saw you like this. I wish I could say something to comfort you but I don’t know what to say. I could only stand by your side and give you a pat on your head. I know it must be too painful for you to talk so I told you to rest. But with all your remaining strength you keep calling out to me “Jie jie, jie jie (sister)…”
…………… and I couldn’t stop crying after that…………..
I know your time is short, and it’s bad to hope for someone’s death but I couldn’t bare to see you in such pain. I told God to take you to heaven as soon as possible and cease you from all the pain. I passed the message to Roger, I asked for everyone who knows you to pray for you. I hope you’ll find peace.
Recalling back 4 months ago when I met you, that was the time you found out that the bone marrow transplant from your sister has failed. At the age 16 years, there is so much life lies ahead of your but cancer rob everything from you but you did not give up hope and you were so brave in facing it. Much more braver than me.
Kin wai, you will be missed dearly. Good bye.
There will be rainbow & happiness waiting for you on the other side. Definitely.
(Roger sms me to inform me that he passed away peacefully today afternoon.)
Breaking bad news to people is hard.
To tell someone that they are dying is even harder.
But there are some who are very brave even when facing death.
I learnt that even if I can’t add days to someone’s life, I could add life to their remaining days in this world.
The first time when I saw her, boss said her prognosis was bad, unlikely she will live for long. She was not responding to the chemotherapy. Even after 2 cycles of chemo, her blast cells count still remains at 90%.
But she was always so happy and so hopeful. She told me that she can’t wait to be discharge from the hospital. She said she will cook me laksa when she gets to go home later.
Whenever I’m so tired and feeling depressed, whenever I looked up she would smile and waved at me. She would remind me everyday, “Please be happy and live for a long long time so you could take care of other cancer patients. Promise me, you will get married and have loving family. You will find someone who loves you very much because I will pray for you everyday.”
Even when her condition was deteriorating….. (she looked so pale despite the massive blood transfusion she received everyday), she was still so encouraging and keep me accompanied. She said to me, “I’m happiest when I talk to Dr. Cheng”. Her words made me feel needed & loved in this discouraging working environment. But I didn’t know that would be her last words to me. She stayed in the hospital for about 3 months since she was started on her 1st cycle of chemotherapy. She didn’t make it to go home.
That evening, I went to ask her if she wants Kenny Roger’s roast chicken for dinner, just in time to find her gasping. Her hands were cold and she was sweating profusely. She looked so pale. She was trying to tell me something but I couldn’t hear her. I knew she will go anytime. My tears just can’t stop rolling down my cheeks. I went out to called Hiza (her daughter) to come quickly to the hospital. We can’t avoid death but at least able to be there to bid last farewell to our loved ones meant something important to her children.
6 months had gone by but I’ll always remember the friendship & the bond between us. Me and Hiza have been good friends. She’s getting married soon, did she tell you? I know she will be happy because you’re watching her from above. And I’m happy too, protected by your blessings.
In Loving memory of makcik Maznah….. who left us on 17/12/2010.
I think God let us meet for a reason. So that I could add more colors into your remaining days, so that I could learn from you, your never giving up spirit. I have to be more brave so that I could keep others going strong. We all should live with no regrets and with a smile of our face until our last breath!
Taa-daa!~~~ I’m back on9 lol. I discovered that the ballroom where they gonna hold our ceramah got Wi-Fi. Woohoo…. so I still can login to Facebook. ^^ I can’t live a day without the internet and facebooking. Haha. So do entertain me and say Hi! when u see me on FB ok =P
I’m a hardcore blogger so I’ll continue updating this blog when I have the chance akakaka. Anyway I caught Bobby chilling out in the swimming pool from the window behind me. Didn’t expect that we can choose who to stay with, so I kiasu, fast fast write down names of people I know.
Ah, I stuck with HooiLian.
This is actually an apartment with 3 rooms, 6 people stay together in 1 apartment. I’ll take photos of my housemates later.
Luckily the bed is nice. So far no bed bug bite me and there is not chilly type of feeling. Cilaka… who told me this place is haunted? I bring all my crystals to ‘pek che’ with me, u know.
Ah, dinner soon and then they will tell us where we got posted. T-T *fingercross…. why is it suddenly I feel like going to Ampang GH? Bcos Zewt, Wingz, Yatz, Wei fuen… all near there. Sigh long long……………. I can’t live without friends.
Last sunday, someone offered us a booth in the flea market in Plaza Mon’t Kiara. Cynthia and I decided to give a try to raise funds for Yvonne there. Friends keep telling us that ya-da ya-da… Mon’t Kiara residents all very rich wan, sure will donate a lot of money etc.
We took some shirts and books from Yvonne to sell. We sold 1 round neck tee, 8 books and and collected a total of rm335 on that day.
Most people ignore or just walked away from us when we approach them but some of them are nice enough to stop by and listen to us and donated some money. Cynthia got a really good PR skill and she persistently keeps walking around and approach the vendor of other stalls and people sitting at Starbucks to sell her book. Thanks to her that we actually could get more than rm100 for the funds.
What I can say about most ‘rich’ ppl in Mon’t Kiara… ignorant and kiamsap. Sometimes I feel, the richer is a person, the more ignorant they will become. There is this uncle Mr.R, he criticize us for setting up a booth asking for donation like this. He said we should do it the “internet” way via facebook, twitter. Apparently this uncle, I think he never read blogs, he never knew how to use facebook and Twitter… or else how can he not heard about us then? Yvonne come out in theStar newspaper quite often wat… even got one time when Yvonne mentioned my name in her article…. everybody knows and give me a phone call. But anyway he didn’t donate even a single cent. His wife was holding a Gucci bag, they both dressed up very well. They think buying a rm20 book to help someone is very EXPENSIVE but a rm5000 Gucci bag is freaking CHEAP.